Back to Work
The job I have right now is my first real job in almost 20 years. Frankly, it feels extremely weird to be working again. I was used to waking up whenever I wanted, doing chores and running errands whenever I wanted, I basically had no schedule outside of my children. Now, I have to struggle to find time to accomplish anything outside of work. If I need to have some work done on my car, I have to find the time during work to make a phone call and schedule a service. If I need to renew my medications or go to the doctors, I have to do that during the work day. Honestly, it kind of sucks.
While it may seem trivial to some people, organizational skills are extremely difficult for those of us with brain problems. It takes a lot longer for me to accomplish anything now. What about after work you ask? By the time my day is over, I'm tired and need to lye down for a while. No, it's not being lazy either. There aren't many people who can grasp what I'm saying because it is a foreign concept and they haven't had to deal with what I have to deal with.
There are times when I do fear for my job. I am forgetful and I make mistakes. My boss has talked to me about it a couple times. I have had to talk to human resources about needing accommodations and sending in some of my medical documents so there is a record of my disability. No one has said anything negative about it at all. Everyone is supportive of course, but not everyone knows about it. I don't go around telling people about my disability, that would be weird if I did that. The only thing that worries me is if I forget some important detail, or forget to fill out some important documents, that kind of thing. I am hoping that my mind will adapt and learn through repetition. But since there is no way to tell, I just have to keep going and keep learning.
The reason I had to return to work is simple. Disability does not pay very much. So whether I am able to return to work or not isn't the question. The question is, how do I support my family? Don't get me wrong, I do like the work I do. It is very fulfilling and I enjoy helping people. There is a constant compromise that I have to make every single day. Do I go to work and pay the bills? Or do I stay home and let the chips fall where they may? For me, it is an easy answer.
The toll working takes out on me is immense. I can't say it any other way. Getting used to working again is another story. I am still trying to manage my time and get things done, but it's very difficult.
How do you adjust to working after so many years of not working?