My New Reality

Getting used to working full-time after almost 20 years has been a difficult task so far. I had a couple jobs that I tried late in 2022, but neither one were the same level as my job now. Working from home is a lot different than 8 to 5 Monday through Friday.

The last few weeks have been busier than I could have ever imagined. The weekend before starting full-time was filled with the beginnings of moving. We started packing the house before starting the move, so that made things a little easier. But, the move was only going to be accomplished over two weekends.

So I started moving stuff over the weekend, and started my new career on that Monday. To make things even better, I had to travel to Phoenix to start my training. I was there until that Friday, my fiancé came early on Friday before I got home to pack more things. I got home in the early evening and we took one load over to the new house.

Moving is not at all fun. I had to wake up early Saturday morning to get the U-haul truck for the big stuff. Being the lazy individual I am, I hired a few guys to get all of the big stuff. Some might say I'm a genius for doing that. I am leaning towards the genius side, but that's just me.

Luckily we got everything moved into the new house over the weekend. However, we did not get everything unpacked. I have no idea how long that will actually take. I spent the second week of my job in Tucson, so I was able to go home every night and do a few things around the house. Meaning, the unpacking. Our first night in the new house was on Saturday, and it felt a little strange. We had three years in our previous house.

Not a Nice Person

I will just say that I was not a nice person our second weekend in our new house. I was extremely grumpy, I was extremely impatient, everything irritated the crap out of me, nobody wanted to be around me, including my fiancé.

Why was I so grumpy? No sleep. To be more accurate, very little sleep. There is no real excuse for being so grumpy, but with my disability, I need to sleep in sometimes. I am still getting used to working 8 to 5, taking my son to school in the morning, picking him up on my way home from work, going to his baseball games and practices, paying for after school care, and so forth, and so forth. Is this how normal people operate?

I'm still trying to find my way. My new career is going well and I like the job. The training schedule is intense and is sprinkled in with working in the office. So I am in Phoenix part of the time, and in my office part of the time.

I'm not the only one getting used to this

I have to remember that I am not the only one getting used to me being at work and traveling for training. I think my daughter is fine with it. I hope so because she is 20 years old. My fiancé is happy that I am working and proud of me. We have been seeing each other solely on the weekends for years now, but when I travel to Phoenix for training, I have to leave on Sunday. That means one less day we get to see each other.

The biggest casualty is my son. He has been used to me being at home every single day. Picking him up from school on time, spending our time together, doing homework together, having dinner together, that was our life.

My new career changed all of that. His attitude has changed, talking back to me, not listening, just being a little butthead. I realized that and I sat him down and had a long talk with him. I asked him if he was mad at me because I'm not around much, and he said yes. Although I am extremely tired from moving and traveling, it is more important to me that he understands what is happening. I need to talk to him more and understand how he feels.

The large amounts of will end in another month or so. Well, the training in Phoenix will end soon. I will still be in training for a while. I might have to come to Phoenix again I'm sure, but we will see.

I am doing my best to try and get on a schedule that works for me. Build in time for me to rest and relax. How to take care of my disability and not overwork and overwhelm myself. It is hard to find my rhythm when I am travelling back and forth. I am doing my best managing everything in my life, my kids, my fiancé, doing things around our new house, scheduling things like dr. appointments. There are so many new things I have to manage and it has been difficult.

I think one of my biggest things to learn is to learn how to ask for help. Letting others handle things for me. Like letting my fiancé have more responsibilities around the house and our lives. We had a long talk about that. Asking my daughter for help when I need it. And sometimes I just need to say that I am exhausted and not push myself too much. I'm still learning how my disability is reacting to working full-time too. It's going to take time for things to even out and I need to let them do just that, even out.