Turning points

Everyone knows life is full of turning points. Marriage/divorce, children, jobs, career choices, college, traumatic life events, becoming disabled, and so on, and so on. No life event or choice stops time. We still go on with our lives. We wake up every day and go to sleep every night.

Our lives can be shaped by events that are both out of our control and within our control. The events within our control are the choices we make, both good and bad. We've all made both good and bad choices in life, but we always learn from those choices. Turning points in our lives can be the result of choices.

Take me for example. In 2003, I survived something horrific that would affect the rest of my life (blood clot bursting in the back of my head), a turning point. I went through hell during my years long recovery. I will never be fully recovered and I had to adjust and accept my new life.

A little over 10 years later, I met who I though was the woman of my dreams. We moved in together, had a son, got married, and moved to Arizona. Little did I know it would end up a different kind of hell. Less that a year after we moved, I was served divorce papers. It turned out to be the best thing that could happen to me.

I was pretty bitter about the divorce and depressed for a little while. I don't really know anyone here in Arizona. All of my family and friends are in California. When I didn't have my son with me, I spent most of my time alone in my little apartment.

I was bored, no place to go, no one to talk to. Being alone makes you think. I started to think about what I wanted to do with my life. I made the decision to go back to college in 2019. In 2022, I graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of Arizona with a degree in International Relations. A tremendous accomplishment considering I was never supposed to be able to learn at a high level again. It was extremely difficult, but I did it.

I was never supposed to be able to go back to work either. I am starting a new job with the State of Arizona in April of 2023. I have this blog where my aim is to help people get through challenging times. Another tremendous accomplishment.

I am engaged to the most beautiful and amazing woman I have ever met. Another tremendous accomplishment.

I have two amazing children. My daughter who is in college and my smart little 7 year-old boy.

None of this would be possible without turning points and the multiple hells I have been through. Granted, it has taken 20 years to get to this point in my life. My disability did not happen by choice. My recovery and what I deal with are not a choice.

These are my circumstances, the choices I make are outside of my circumstances. Could I choose to be a couch potato for the rest of my life and collect my meager disability checks? Of course I can and I am entitled to that choice. But that is not who I am, I am better than that. I want to live and not just exist.

Stepping out of my comfort zone, graduating from college, doing volunteer work, finding a career, and helping others is my job in life. Without all of the turning points in my life, I would not be where I am at right now. Turning points show us the way and it's up to us to read the signs.